I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
