remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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