You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You need Xanax blowdarts
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
