Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
