Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
