I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
