dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
