Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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