He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize