worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
