i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
