My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Screwed.edu
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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