They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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