I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
