elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I got inside last night via doggy door
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
