I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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