fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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