After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
