wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
