He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Go christen that room with your naked body.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
