I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
