Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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