Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Never joke about your clitoris.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize