Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
