My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
