And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
