Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
