Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
