I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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