i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
