I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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