I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize