Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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