Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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