it hurts more in the daytime
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
