...so i touched it.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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