He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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