That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
