I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
