I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
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He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
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We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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