i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
