until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
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just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
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I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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