and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Is her dick bigger than yours?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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