? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
even my farts smell like vagina
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
