Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i would punch a child for taco bell
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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