Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
