Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
