Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
