Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Watching her eat just hurts me
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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