my vag is so smooth its legendary
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
