guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
