pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
