There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
