Already got asked if we're dating
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
