officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
