Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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