he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
