loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
