If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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