Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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