I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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