I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
