i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
