The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just gift wrapped bread.
i dont even know how to be here
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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