No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
